I’m not really sure who reads this blog, but here goes:
Breastfeeding. Growing up, I heard from my mom that she had tried to breastfeed me, but she was so afraid of smothering me with her ample bosom, and maybe I had problems with latch, so I was fed formula. It never bothered me. Sometimes I wonder if I had been breastfed as a baby, if I would have less sinus issues now, but who knows?
Then I got pregnant, and learned about the many health benefits of breastmilk, and I knew I wanted to breastfeed my baby unless I absolutely could not. I learned through childbirth and breastfeeding that I am a persistent person—more persistent than I had even realized. Noah did not latch easily. In fact, when he was born all he wanted to do was sleep. This should not have been a surprise, given the fact that I had contractions for around 40 hours before he was born—probably kept him awake that whole time!
Anyway, so after he was born, he had no interest in eating, and it was super difficult to get him to latch when he was awake. He wouldn’t open his mouth wide enough, or it was super painful, etc. Nurses would have to hold my breast, hold open his jaw, and then mash them together.
We got home, and it still wasn’t happening. He’d cry and cry, and it’d take 5 minutes or more to get him to latch, and then it’d hurt. Finally I called a lactation consultant who came to our house at 8pm, and she helped me get him used to a silicone nipple shield so he could learn to latch while protecting me from serious damage.
I didn’t want to nurse in public because it was such an ordeal getting him to latch, and on one side I had to use a nipple shield. However, the hard work and persistence paid off. He is now almost 5 months old, in the 97th percentile for length, and I easily feed him in public. It was worth it. I know some moms can’t breastfeed for different reasons, but for those who can, just know, while it’s a steep learning curve, once you get it, it’s wonderful.
I also am so grateful to the Affordable Care Act for making insurance companies cover the full cost of breast pumps. This has made my life as a graduate student and my husband’s experience feeding Noah so much easier. If it weren’t for our double electric pump, I’m not sure I’d have lasted this long. It helped me early on when I had to pump and we syringe-fed Noah back when he still had latch problems (both helping me develop my supply and getting him the nutrients he needed) and now because my husband can bond with Noah and feed him, and I can do things like teach a class, go to the gym, etc. and not worry that Noah will be miserable and hungry without me.
Breastfeeding is my gift to Noah and to myself. We’re introducing solids now, but it’s really more for him to experience new tastes and textures, because he’s not quite ready for solids to replace a “meal” of breastmilk. When he’s ready to transition fully, I’ll be ready to have more of my body back, but for now, I’m trying to treasure this experience. I’m proud of myself, and I’m amazed that my body can produce all of the nutrients and calories our boy needs. I don’t think women hear enough how amazing it is that so many of us can grow and nurture human beings. But I also know that the most important part is loving Noah, cuddling him, giving him attention. I can’t handle hearing about “parents” who abuse their children, and when I see it in person, I… am at the point where I need to speak up about it.
If you birth and breastfeed a baby but then abuse them? You are dead inside. And you have no business being a parent. If you adopt, feed your baby formula, put them in daycare, and you do not abuse, emotionally or physically, your child, but love them? You are a true parent, and you are doing an amazing job. So when I talk about breastfeeding, I have to add this qualifier, because in the end, it’s the abuse of children that is the true mark of a good or bad parent. Calling your child names, humiliating them, not treating them with the same respect you would show an adult, ignoring them, hitting them, using them to meet your physical or emotional needs, these are all forms of abuse, and you do not deserve to have the presence of a child in your life.
😂😂😂 #breastfeeding #cheches #tetas #baby #milk
Hey sister am I good enough for your heaven?
Say will your God accept me in my black and white?
Will he approve the way I’m made?
Or should I reprogram the program and get down?
Am I a freak for dancing around?(queen)
Am I a freak for getting down?(queen)
I’m cutting up, don’t cut me down
And yeah I wanna be wanna be (queen)
Even if it makes others uncomfortable
I wanna love who I am
Even if it makes others uncomfortable
I will love who I am
Janelle Monae, Q. U. E. E. N.
—Givin Em What They Love (feat. Prince)
Song of the Day: Janelle Monae, “Given Em What They Love” feat. Prince from The Electric Lady
Anything with Prince is the shit. Period.
I pretty much can’t stop listening to this, Q.U.E.E.N, and Electric Lady over and over and over. SUCH GOOD MUSIC.
Q.U.E.E.N. definitely is an acronym and… it is for those who are marginalized - from the emigrants with the E, to the excommunicated, to the negroid, to the untouchables, and to the queer community… I wanted to create something for people who feel like they want to give up because they’re not accepted by society… We wanted to show too, that two females - with strong ideas - could get together and do something special and encouraging.
NO HANGING OUT
You can stream the entire album from FeelingGravitysPull.bandcamp.com, and download it for the price of $8.00.
We’d like to thank City Psychology, The Airlings, the Queen Bean, Mark for the great sound, and Modesto for coming out.
This show was the last we will play with…
nice music from Merced
Even though many advocates of feminist politics are angered by Sandberg’s message, the truth is that alone, individually she was no threat to feminist movement. Had the conservative white male dominated world of mass media and advertising not chosen to hype her image, this influential woman would not be known to most folks. It is this patriarchal male dominated re-framing of feminism, which uses the body and personal success of Sheryl Sandberg, that is most disturbing and yes threatening to the future of visionary feminist movement. The model Sandberg represents is all about how women can participate and ‘run the world.’ But of course the kind of world we would be running is never defined. It sounds at times like benevolent patriarchal imperialism. This is the reason it seemed essential for feminist thinkers to respond critically, not just to Sandberg and her work, but to the conservative white male patriarchy that is using her to let the world know what kind of woman partner is acceptable among elites, both in the home and in the workplace. Feminism is just the screen masking this reframing.
This quote is from her phenomenal essay Dig Deep: Beyond Lean In on The Feminist Wire. I think she pointed out something really important that helps move past individualistic critique on Lean In to again, an institutional/systems view with an intersectional lens. It’s about Sheryl Sandberg but it’s about more than her. It’s a critical essay especially in the age of neoliberal, 1%, mainstream feminism. The essay gets into race/class and reveals how a lot of respectability politics and bootstrap theory is involved in this corporate reshaping of feminism. MUST READ.